I Can’t Be To Others What I Am Not to My Self (Being a Friend Isn’t Easy)

I struggled for many years with feeling less than loving toward myself; I was very comfortable in having negative thoughts about who I was.  It was difficult to make real connections with others.  I had abandonment issues,  I overlooked my flaws and over extended positive behaviors to my acquaintances which I did to make myself feel loved; because of this I have been called  self-absorbed and self-centered.  The way I see it today, life is all about growth when you know better you do better, I am neither of these things and as I have aged I have allowed myself to be open, to be happier, and more improved as a Woman, Mother, Sister, and a friend. Maintaining relationships; did not come easy to me.  I avoided invitations to events, such as family gatherings and social events, just to avoid getting too emotionally involved or connected to others. Not wanting others to know what was going on within my mind, body and soul. 

Releasing a Friendship can be very painful but yet necessary. The mind is a theater of war every day, and our perception about the person we are letting go of may not be our truth. Many times the decision one makes to end a relationship may not be about the other person involved. Letting go doesn't mean you care less about the person.  It's recognizing that the only person you are in control of is self.  One may take it personal and feel it is something that they have done to end the friendship; I came to terms today that for me to live in a more peaceful state of mind letting go will restore my balance.  So I have taken my hands off of situations that do not belong to me which has allowed me to be free from pointless stress.