Sunday, September 1, 2019

Alopecia Totalis Journey to Freedom

Alopecia totalis (AT) is a condition characterized by the complete loss of hair on the scalp. It is an advanced form of alopecia areata 
Alopecia Areata
Sudden hair loss that starts with one or more circular bald patches that occurs when the immune system attacks hair follicles and may be brought on by severe stress.

In the picture with the Afro, I was eight years old. I had several bald spots alopecia areata. However, I had enough hair to keep them hidden. As a child growing up in the 70s, I had no clue as to what was going on with my head.  Alopecia was not common and rarely discussed in those days.  However, I do recall seeing a couple of people who also had some form of Alopecia. I can recall looking at them wondering what was wrong with them not realizing I had the same issue.   

Fast Forward, as I reached puberty I didn’t know why I didn’t grow hair in common places such as my legs, my arms, etc. I was so consumed with my hair issues as a young adult that it became debilitating.  Which I believed was a contributing factor in the rapid hair loss.   I internalized this issue for so many years that my family and close friends had no idea how much I suffered in silence over my hair. It was very depressing. 


As I got older I started rapidly losing my hair which than caused alopecia totalis.  I started going to doctors that tested me for other autoimmune diseases, such as lupus, etc. I had biopsies done and then was referred to a dermatologist who treated me with corticosteroids, Topical Monoxide, Rogaine and creams. I spent tons of money on travel to get wigs customized before Lace wigs became accessible in the beauty stores. 

Hair to me was a symbol of beauty and femininity.  I was very insecure & had very low self-esteem over my hair issues for many years. When I turned forty-eight I began the journey of acceptance.  I gradually began to expose my bald head. I had people who have been in my life for over 20 years who had no idea I was bald. People would ask me what was wrong do you have cancer.  I felt like this autoimmune disorder was so minimal and didn’t feel the need to discuss it when asked.  When I turned 50 it was a wrap I didn’t care what anyone thought or asked me about my hair. 

Today I sometimes forget I had hair issues until I am out and I get compliments on my head. I question myself often and wonder what took me so long to free myself from the stronghold that nearly took the life out of me. I am sharing my story because there are so many women and children who are living with this autoimmune disorder and are struggling on their journey to freedom.  All I can say is.  Be free to be your true self from the inside out. We cripple ourselves when we give power to things that consume us. You are not your hair; you are you with or without it.  Be the best you that you can on your journey to freedom.  

Yours Truly 


Bald Bold and Beautiful 


Sunday, May 19, 2019

Reflecting

Reflecting:  I shared this story on my 50th Birthday:  when I made the decision to go to Italy 
Today I have been given another opportunity to do better, be better, & make someone else's life better. I Thank God for brand new mercy for giving me the courage to stand alone, travel alone, & be alone most of my adult life I always felt that happiness was about being  in a relationship/married. Don't mean to get to deep but it's my birthday ðŸ˜Š& I have something to say. I grew up with two sisters who both are deceased.  I always felt a deep saddening in my soul after each of them passed. My immediate family is very small which is why I always felt that being in a relationship would make me feel whole.  I never wanted to do things alone I was always afraid and always felt inadequate when attending different functions by myself. I always felt like I had to have someone with me whether it be one of my daughters or a girlfriend. I stepped out on faith made the decision to not depend on others to celebrate my happy I realized that my happy is not about others I took this trip to Italy to celebrate myself, my own individuality.  I was so nervous but I conquered one of my many fears.  Happy Birthday to me She's